Desperate times…

I just read this verse of how when we seek God we will find Him.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I feel I am in reflection kind of mindset, perhaps because it is year end and if this year could speak it would tell tales.

So this verse got me thinking of times I have been desperate this past year. So desperate for the Lord; times I have sought after the Lord, desperately. Times I have been desperate for joy in the middle of some mud, times that I have been desperate to be sorted, often about a boy, but other times about work, other times about family, other times about life. Yet when I cry to the Lord He surely hears. He comes to my rescue, He sorts me out, and He restores the joy of salvation.

However, my story has sadly been that I am not as desperate to go back and say thank you. As a result, many times I miss the moment of the miracle of answered prayers. Yes my prayers are answered but since the desperation is gone, then I do not go back to the Father to say thank you. Many times like the lepers, I miss the moment, I miss the miracle; after all the desperation is over so back to good times. I am sorry Lord.

So today Lord I thank You. I lift Your name on high. I worship You. That you are my Father. That before even I call You hear me. I thank You for the desperate times coz they draw me near to You. They remind me You are all I have but more so, You are all I want, all I need. Thank you that you are an ever present friend. I can say this confidently coz I have needed you. I have wept Lord. I have called for help from the Heavens. Now when I remember those moments, they feel so distant. They represent the answered prayers. I thank You Jesus. This is my testimony, You are God, You are my Papa. And I LOVE YOU SANA.

I know this is just the beginning; I look forward to my days in your presence. For my life only adds up in your presence. I look forward to more of You. I look forward to more desperate moments that will lead me Home, to You. I look forward to more of You Jesus. As this year comes to an end, to You I lift a praise Lord. I love you, My heart is yours, do with me as you please.

So Lord though I disappoint You sometimes, though I find myself straying sometimes, this is my dearest prayer, please do not ever take your presence away from me. Draw me close to you evermore. And quiet my mind and spirit in order that I may discern Your movement in my life

He does not ask for a sacrifice or I would give it; He is not pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. He will not despise a broken and humbled heart

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