My Alehandro is dead…press panic button!

Ever been in a situation where you are very sure you do not want to hear from God over a specific circumstance in your life? Today I was. I did not want to hear from God on anything concerning my desire to get married. I felt too weary to ask for direction regarding this and felt we had spent enough time on the subject. However, I have learnt God has a sense of humor.

I am going through the one-year bible and when I realized today we were going to read the book of Ruth, I plainly told God I can’t and don’t want to. But as God would have it, when He had dealt with all my drama and knew now I could listen, He took me back to this story and I have learnt 2 amazing lessons from it. I want to share one of the things I have learnt today. Excited, drums roll, this one is big, another drum roll*

Okay here it goes, I just realized God is a romantic. He creates a truly amazing story for Ruth, this lady who is in the middle of nowhere, has lost her husband and perhaps with that any hope of ever being married again. Yet, the Great Romancer of all time is not done with her yet. He intends to create an amazing story for her, a story that ends up with her being in the lineage of Christ; a romantic story that I would have easily missed.

My Alehandro

You see I am a product of the Alehandros of this world. Over time, unknowingly, I have picked up standards for a romance story that are very worldly. They are very driven by the soaps, the series, the movies I have watched and not to mention the books I have read. Unknowingly, this material has entered my head and subconsciously determine the guy I want to marry. This material will ensure I do not see this Boaz.

I want to be married to a guy who is a strong, intelligent, leader. That is not to mean the guy does not have to fear God, no, that’s standard; these are the additional requirements, the list if you will. What is wrong with these standards anyway? After all it is not the usual unrealistic tall dark and handsome right?

Yet as I have thoughts why these qualities are so important to me, I have slowly peeled the impact that the Alehandros have had over me, that alongside my fears are the sole reasons these qualities are so important to me. This is something God has been attempting to reveal to me this year with a lot of difficulty. I refused to see it. I called it settling, I hate that word. I felt dropping these standards would be me giving up on God and settling.

Yet I have repeatedly felt God tell me this is not giving up. It is surrender, it is trusting that He knows what is best for me, it is trusting that He can choose a Boaz for me! Boaz will not fit into these qualities, not because they are not important, but because Boaz is just about who God knows is right for me. Boaz is not the man I hope to marry in my well calculated wisdom, the guy with the qualities that I think will guaranty that we are happy. Boaz is no way the guy I select for self. Boaz is the guy who the God who knows his heart and who knows my heart, selects for me. He is the guy I trust Him for.

So who is Boaz?

Boaz was everything other than what my earthly standards would have. He seems to see Ruth and like her. He therefore does a shady thing in my books. He speaks a blessing over her. Then he asks his handlers to drop heads of barley from the bundles on purpose so that she has stuff to pick up!

Who does that? When you like a girl, you ask them to stop picking the barley, you rescue them, and you look for a horse and become the shining armor of the hour. That’s what Alehandro does! Okay if that’s asking for too much, you buy her flowers, you woe her head off. Kind acts like asking people to drop barley for her to collect are for losers. Real men, the kind I am drawn to, they are heroic, and they are Alehandro, strong intelligent leaders!

Yet what I see is Boaz is an amazing spirit. It is the true definition of love, a kind man. A simple guy who will not break the bank for her but who will celebrate what she’s doing, a guy who will support her dream to support her mother-in-law; a kind, quiet spirit.

My heart

As I have come face to face with this Boaz, I have realized I would not have given him 2 minutes of my time. He does not at the face of it drive a fancy car; he does not have a career I admire. Okay I will spiritualize it and say I can’t respect him but at the heart of it is that he does not meet my Alehandro dream. An amazing man with an amazing spirit would have had no chance in my books.

Boaz is the simple man across the street. The one who will call everytime he knows I am in trouble to check on me. He is the guy who will pray with me when I am facing difficulties. He is the guy who will listen even when I a blubbering. He is the guy who will allow me to take the time I need at work without killing me. He is the invisible night and shining armor.

How I’ve confessed this. How I’ve asked God to forgive me for allowing the world to set the standards over who I will marry. How I have given God back full control. How I have said Lord, whoever you please, I will say yes.

How I’ve also prayed for him. He also has Alehandros in his head. This Alehandros tell him things like you cannot marry a girl like that, she’s too young, too fancy for you. They tell him he’s inadequate, he’s not the immediate redeemer. They tell him she has long nails, she will not be able to cook for him, like that’s the reason for marriage.

We live in a world that whispers so often, often subtly, till we unknowingly begin to conform to its standards. I am grateful to this God who refused to let me sink to the standards I had set. I choose to trust Him. I’ll be the first to say it is not easy. So this is the deal I have made with God; yes I agree, I agree to bury Alehandro, I agree to have only You set my standards; but please Helper, help me. I know He will. I am excited at what He is doing. This God is amazing.

What is in your list? Search your heart for standards that have been set by the world and begin to trust God to remove them. Coz this is the thing, the guy may be shorter than you, he may even be younger than you, but if you are both submitted to Christ, if He is at the center of that relationship, the world has not seen what He can do through you guys.



  1. I totally identify with the Alehandro image, the list has been very elaborate, and when Boaz appeared missing some of those pertinent qualities I was ready to dismiss him and move on, only God truly knows how I have struggled to accept that His plans are greater than my plans.

  2. This morning I also realized that God has really been working on my Alejandros and me as well. Had I gotten married earlier I would have gotten married for the wrong reasons and I would be miserable right now.

    1. I think many of us have created Alehandros in our heads, I am glad is teaching us to let go of these guys and entrust Him with a Boaz. It is hard but the thing I have learned is this God can be trusted. His choice is always the best. Now to waiting.

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