Silence is golden (part 2)

Last week I shared a post on why silence is golden. You can check it out here. This has been such a fundamental lesson that it demanded two posts. My first encounter with real silence was a few years ago. I was on a work secondment in United Kingdom. I was based in Leeds, it’s one of those cities that did not have as many Kenyans as London did. This and the fact that I quickly got into one of those very shady relationships became the basis of my 2 year secondment.

When I look back at the 2 year secondment period, it was one of the most silent period I have ever been through. I was in this strange land, far away from friends, family and even my church community; and as if that was not enough, I was in a dysfunctional relationship. Yet in between this very loud silence, I discovered God in ways that were only possible in this loud silence. The silence was loud, to be honest I did not appreciate it then, but in that silence, I was desperately sought after God.

I still remember the carpet to my house. If it could speak it would complain about the huge amount of tears that I wept at it. I would get home, read God’s word and then weep. I was so broken. That I was in a relationship that I did not fathom did not help. Yet those tears and moments on my knees, over 5 years later are some of the most precious times of my life. They formed who I am today. They were the real deal of ‘silence is golden’.

Leave it all behind and come to the well….

As I mentioned last week, we live in a truly noisy world. I think we live in the noisiest times ever. The world is full of knowledge and with knowledge comes opinions. So much so that we have gotten used to living off the noise.

When I think about the two years in UK, what comes to mind is always the call of Abraham. God told him to pack and leave everything he had and move to an unknown land. Listen to this, ‘The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others.

There is a work God was going to do through Abraham that was not possible in the midst of the noise of his country and people. Infact, when he tries to walk with Lot (his beloved cousin) through this journey, this backfires on him. He needed to be in a silent journey. It would be lonely sometimes, he would need a tough carpet like mine, but in that silence, God would mold him into his destiny.

There is a work that God wants to do in us that’s only possible in silence. Leave it all behind, and come to the well!

No shortcuts…..

When I started working on Lapid Leaders late last year, I went through yet another season of deafening silence. My life group (bible study group) stopped meeting regularly, I found myself alienated from the community of family, friends and church that would have been a support group, I moved houses to a more inaccessible place, and it felt like a rewrite of 2009 once again. But in the process God molded me, God molded the vision, God spoke in ways I could hear.

I don’t know if it’s that I am too noisy but I have found when God needs my attention, He finds it in silence. I wish the setting apart would still be in the form 2 year trip to UK but hey, you take what you get. God desires to commune with us individually.

When I hear of the messes we have about churches and pastors, I cannot help but realise that we have gotten ourselves in this mess. We have become dependent on pastors and churches, we are always looking for a ‘word’ from the pastors and prophets and we hardly ever seek God for ourselves. I have no problem with churches and pastors, we need them, but we have become lazy Christians. Let someone else do the hard work for you and then we listen and follow where they lead. But as we go through these, we must never forget the True Source is God. We must yearn for our own personal encounter with God.

Across the bible, I see God speaking to His people directly. He told Abraham to leave the country, He speaks to him, and this is the first of many such encounters. In silence He will hear Him. I see Jesus taking time away from the disciples and be with God and He comes back refreshed and stronger. He does not delegate this relationship with God to anyone else.

Kill Teacher Dependency

We must kill teacher dependency in this our nation. We must challenge ourselves to seek after God, to hear from Him. Yes learn under others but don’t develop a dependency on any teacher.

God is the Ultimate Teacher. Unfortunately, His ways are not the magical immediate answers solutions. However, with time, we learn to know His voice. We learn to hear from Him. And when this happens, it is truly the most magical moment. To know that the King of Kings spoke to me directly, to know the King of Kings seats at the thrones your heart. To know without a doubt, though He tallies, He will come through. To witness Him. That’s the personal relationship with God. Seek Him, you will find Him, and He will show you great and marvelous things you know not of.

When I came back to Kenya after a 2 year stint in UK, I remember going to church and thinking I need to look for another church. This church just was not feeding me, we seemed to always be talking about the same thing and I just did not feel fed. So I decided to look for another church. However, somewhere along the way I remember hearing God saying so clearly, seek me and you will find me. You see I had this notion in my head that growing my relationship with God was found in church. Little did I know, it was found in the quiet moments in a retreat somewhere, or some quiet moments in my house when even the TV is even dead

Don’t sweat the small stuff

They say that every person who jumps from formal employment to the world of entrepreneurship always faces a day or a month or even an hour when that decision is put to test, the ‘day of reckoning’. As I celebrate one year of God’s faithfulness, I am conscious that my day of reckoning came in November last year. I left employment with such a naïve mindset. This naïve mindset has served me well (you can read this blog for more on this). The first few months of this decision were such an easy ride. Up until November happened. (more…)

I miss my fat bank account

This week will mark a year since I took a leap of faith from a high-flying, formal job to the madness of the uncertain, informal world that I felt God was calling me to. I love unwinding experiences, it is how I learn and grow from one ‘glory to another’. I am therefore spending some time reflecting on the past one year and the things God has taken me through. I am hoping I can share a few of the things that I have seen, the lessons I have picked in that one year. Buckle up and enjoy the ride. One of the hardest lessons has been around finances, I will give you some background information. (more…)

Never once did we ever walk alone

After a long period of prayer, confusion, stubbornness, fear, the works, in April last year, I made a decision to resign my workplace. You can read this blog, that I wrote as I went through the motions from prayer to being stubborn to being confused.

3 months later, I left the job and started working on setting up Lapid Leaders Africa. Again, this statements takes away the agony of not knowing where God wanted me to move to, the how and where and who’s of that season are still fresh in my memory. This blog was written around that time. In ways that only God can, the Lapid Leaders boat took off, and as we plan the graduation of the first cohort of Lapid Leaders, the song in my heart, audibly and loudly so is ‘Never once did we ever walk alone, Never once did You leave us on our own, You are faithful, God, You are faithful’

Naive moments

But before I sing this song, I cannot help but look back and see the naivety behind the many decisions I made. I thought that recruiting students into Lapid Leaders would be a piece of cake, afterall the ‘product’ was sound, naivety. I thought I knew the roles the various people in my life would play in making this dream a reality, naivety. I thought I knew how my support system would look like, naivety. I thought I knew how finances would flow, naivety. I thought I knew how this story would unfold, naivety. I look back and I see a lot of naivety.

Yet it is because of that naivety that I have continued to take these steps. In my world, that naivety reads faith. I have come to understand what God meant when He said “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven..

This morning as I was doing my morning devotion, I read abut a woman that I really admire, the Cannanite woman. This woman has been told off by the Lord Jesus, “He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.. Yet its her response that has always tag at my heart, she will not get side-tracked, she is focused on the issue at hand, “Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”’. The persistence that it takes to hear such words from the Lord and still say I will not let you go, the love for a child that it takes to hold onto the Savior until the child is healed, I see many great traits in this lady. But today I realised something that I have always missed, that out of all these great traits, the only one that the Lord recognizes and moves Him to action, is faith. The persistence, the love were all good, but faith got her miracle. Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.

God works with our faith. This has been my journey, as I have naively believed in God’s provision, as I have trusted Him for a support system, as I have asked Him to recruit Lapid Leaders for me, each step of the way He has said, Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.. So a year after this very naive decision, the song in my heart is loud. 

Standing on this mountaintop, looking just how far we’ve come. Knowing that for every step You were with us. Kneeling on this battle ground, seeing just how much You’ve done knowing every victory is Your power in us …Never once did we ever walk alone. Never once did You leave us on our own. You are faithful O God, You are faithful….

Scars and all

Don’t mistake me, it has not always been an easy journey. Some of the bumps and turns have been very hard. Some days I have resolved to give up. If you know the feeling of being on a bumpy flight, then you know its not been easy. But…

Scars and struggles on the way but with joy our hearts can say yes, our hearts can say. Never once did we ever walk alone. Never once did You leave us on our own. You are faithful, God, You are faithful

My heart can say as David did, I have seen the Lord. There is a level of faith that is only possible with this kind of journey. I have learned to depend on God. I have learn to recognize His hand. I have learned to seek Him with all my heart. I have learned to run to His feet and ask what next. Most of all, I have learned to let God fight battles for me. Never once….

The work ahead

As we approach our very first graduation, I know without a doubt that the work ahead is great! I just need to look at the journey over the last many months to know we have only begun. I just need to look at emails I have received from some of the Lapid Leaders we have worked with to know the work must continue.

With God’s help, we will raise many more young people to be values-driven leaders and entrepreneurs. With God’s help, we will challenge the young people to change the story of Africa. With God’s help, we will raise a generation of leaders who God will use to rebuild this our continent. With God’s help, a new story over the next generation will begin to be written. Exciting times are ahead, each step of the way, You God. This is your vision, your work and the word I hold onto is still ‘I will build my church and no gates of hell will prevail against it’.

What places of faith is God calling you to? I will be the first to tell you it will not always be easy, but I will also tell you if He leads, it will be the best journey you’ll ever make. We are a generation of seeing is believing. I still wonder if we can do what Abraham was told to do, pack and go, without knowing where He was going but trusting the Voice that was leading Him. I have learned He will never give you the full blueprint. But when You know in your heart where He is leading you, when He has spoken to your mind that it is time to take steps of faith, follow Him with all you have. Then you’ll sing this song with us, Never once!

Occupy till I come

Frustrated, that was the word in my spirit when I woke up a few days ago. Then I thought I should belt out a scream that may help me feel less frustrated. So I screamed in the most dignified way I know how to, after all I still have a reputation with my neighbors that I need to guard. Unfortunately I still felt frustrated. Perhaps hitting the wall would help? Maybe, but my pretty little fingers would not allow me to hurt them. So I did what I should have from the moment I woke up, I raised my head to the heavens and asked for help. (more…)

Fear of being misused

It has been a while since I visited the world of blogging, I have missed this world of blogging, I must visit it more often. Anywho, this year seems to be running, how else can you explain that we are about to see the first quarter of the year come to an end! Seeing that I cannot stop time from racing past me, I have decided to take stock of the things I feel this year is about. (more…)